I stand on top of Mount Epidrae and look for you....

Today I puked a fountain of blood

and it filled my mouth, nose and lungs

caused a pain in my chest, horrific like Mirkwood- suffocating and dense.

but you should see the condition of my soul,

just peep through my heart's tiny hole

and envision the one, the 'memory you' who has a hold- a hold on my world.

about this to everyone I've told

but none knows the hurt, ten folds of a witch's dirty roll.

there was someone, someone called 'you' who entered my seamless fantasy world

you were the only one

who could say what I was going to say,

every-time, you had a copy of my mind.

But now I simply, relentlessly, whine

I simply cry when alone I dine, when alone I lie

you were one of a kind

for you I put everything on line

and i sketched you, made you the subject of a hundred poems

only for you to leave me after years of the most beautiful friendship

and then I had to pass through more hardship than I've ever been through

but again the extrovert you made me has turned again into a better yet a bit bitter introvert

I've risen above the dirt and here I stand on top of Mount Epidrae, one of the homes of my fantasy world

and I search for you everywhere- in the plains, plateaux, mountains, oceans, seas and on the scales of fishes that swim upstream.

And I fill it all with my art

so that I find you somewhere and live in it with you- content of my heart

And so my message bearing eagles spread like mountain mist

as my subconscious still chooses you for the one to miss.

Yet I wish I never met you

wish I had never felt that bliss

it seems like mumbling but its a dirge for a dead love

killed like an innocent dove.

just leave your hold over me and go away

just melt away like clay!

and come back never again!

my pleading falls on deaf ears much to my dismay.

I know that part of your soul which made me complete will never leave me,

it will forever torture me,

it will make me cry, will make me smile,

will make me angry,

wish I could use our code of '143'

sadly, now it doesn't exist,

wish I could hear you call me in your unique way- i miss that word 'barbie boy', O once my baby...

and I've been missing you much lately,

I must say even more greatly

where was this evil dungeon dug, so dark and empty,

which took you away from me,

our love, it was termed the epitome of purity,

both by the peoples of this world and of my fantasy

all because of knowing each other's words like an open portal into future,

yet I never touched you, you never touched me.

then what was missing? was it the tiniest of mistakes I committed when I sketched you countless times from my memory?

tell me baby, look into my bloodied eyes,

tell me will I ever see you face to face again?

will I feel complete again,.. with our love, our friendship?

everyone's in relation these days but as many have claimed

it was the purest they've ever seen

why have you left my world of fantasy, O my princess?

why do you not give that look like a caress?

why has it turned into hatred?

a hatred to maybe hide your pain,

I don't like images of you washing away with tears that rain,...

and fall and vaporize on fate's hard bamboo cane,..

there was ever boon and no bane

but you still left me, baby

you're making me cry, please don't make me cry

I've tried to live with the pain

I've gone far from the ones I call lifetime besties,

I've secluded myself in my world again,

Poetry is the language of my soul, Amor Mio,

and yet I feel awkward writing all this,

though I feel it, love has become a joke to me,

something of a mockery to my maturity

what is this condition? is it the side effect of a separated 'one' ?

I wish I could again sing 'unmistakable' and see you walk out of 'our' dreams

and embrace me, finally,..

but its only my art that now I live in, sadly,..

I can write forever baby,

I can go on forever

but the fear remains

that there's nothing of the foolish me that you remember......